Week 7 - Books and Booze

Hey everyone,

Pretty crazy week to be honest. Read on if you're curious...

With another week finished, here I am once again talking to myself pretending that others are listening. It's a weird feeling, like how we send signals out to space in hopes of getting an answer. I want to keep pushing though, since doing this helps to clear my head. I've been feeling a bit under the weather recently, and I kind of just put it off. I know I should rest at times, and I did that pretty ok over the weekend, but still I hoped I'd be better by now. Tough luck I guess...

I'm watching this new Netflix show called The Night Agent, and it'd pretty good. I feel like it's better for me to watch longer-form content rather than short form, which kind of just messes with my brain. I also finished my book, The Diary of a CEO by Stephen Bartlett. He's a great writer with an insane resume of skills and experience. I'm aiming to beat him one day.

I guess it comes down to the little things. I feel like it's easy for people to go about their lives thinking about how they WANT change. I want a bigger car/better body. Everyone thinks it at some point. I'm the same. But change really seems to start with your identity. How you see yourself. I'm still working on it, but it's the little things like reading up on a new skill or practicing what you've learned rather than just sitting on your phone for 5 hours like I did yesterday.

I know that you're thinking... you can't preach if you're not practicing, but yesterday was a one-off. I needed a break. I went out with my friends Friday and Saturday nights. It was pretty fun, but I was designated driver Friday, which meant no alcohol. Probably for the best, but I kinda just sat there and stared off into the distance until the others drank enough to feel satisfied. I then called it and drove people home around half 10. We had no trouble other than this one girl in our group who suddenly switched up and got into a fight with her also drunk boyfriend as we were leaving. She was also acting a bit odd. I'm probably overthinking, but she sat next to me, opposite her bf and talked across me to one of the other guys whom she is friends with. Felt a bit uncomfortable and kept shuffling away to notify her, but yeah. Weird.

The drive home Friday was odd too. But in a nicer way.

The same bf/gf duo were among the group I drove home Friday, and their house is a good distance past mine. I didn't mind, but they both felt bad with me going out of my way. As we were driving, the bf - one of my closest mates - said some really nice things to me. I don't know if he felt bad or what but he kept talking about how brave I am to be handling my life the way I do. With Dad's diagnosis almost a year and a half ago, I haven't really told anyone about him. I don't know why, just that I promised myself that I wouldn't let it hurt anyone else the same way as it hurt me. Plus, it was kind of nice to go to school and forget about it all. Anyway, my mate noticed that Dad's now in a wheelchair and he thinks of me in this new light, I guess. It was probably just the alcohol talking, but it made me wonder. Who would I be if not for the hardships I've faced? I think that I'm a little further on from most people my age because of this. I guess we'll see.

I can hear the others arguing downstairs and I think I need to dismantle a bed for my sister at some point so I should go.

Thanks for listening, here's to an amazing week ahead for all of us.

Tom